Sunday, February 26, 2017

Purge It-Dammit!

We all know one of the most wasteful and non productive parts of our cross dressing experiences have been the "purges" we have gone through. My own non official definition of a purge is to get rid of an article or articles of something you don't want.

Many of us have been forced by others such as a spouse, girlfriend or parent to purge ourselves of our feminine clothing, shoes and makeup. I know I have done it out of a sense of shame or even a resolution never to cross dress again. The whole process soon becomes similar to cutting a weed in the yard. The more you cut it, the faster it wants to come back. At a cost, of course.

Here is a more extreme case from Connie in response to a post I had written about my "stash" mysteriously disappearing from an apartment I lived in back before I was inducted into the Army:

My mother once, despite my extraordinary efforts to hide it, found my "stash" when I was 16. She had bagged it up and put it on the kitchen table while I was at school, and then further shamed me by ordering me to throw it in the garbage can outside. I was so ashamed that I told her I'd go one better and take it straight to the dump (partially because my messed-up mind thought that the garbage man might put two and two together, thus knowing my secret).

 It wasn't long, though, before I had assembled a whole new - and upgraded - "stash", which I hid even better that time. I used to wonder "what if" I had not been made to endure such shame. I've let go of that notion, as I came to realize that I was feeling shame for something I didn't even understand at the time. The shame is that I really had nothing to be ashamed about - except for my deviousness and deception."

She (Connie) also mentioned the guy I wrote about who displayed a little extra interest in me "dressing up" after the fact:

"My first thought would have been "what if" it were that guy who ended up with my stuff. "

Good point and truly one I haven't given much thought to, except the timing wasn't quite right and besides that I was in full fledged damage control before I finally calmed down and thought what were they going to do to me? Draft me? Quickly it became too late to cry over spilled/lost panty hose anyway. 

I was out of there and off to Ft. Knox for a winter vacation (basic training) a month later anyhow. If the guy did end up with my "stash" I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Estrogen Contact Buzz

This morning was my second visit to Liz's weight life style group. The group so far has been approximately 25 to 30 cis women, one transgender woman and two cis guys (I think) all packed into a small room.

During the meeting I have a chance to look around the room and learn among other things how so many cis women deal with being over weight their entire lives. I am coming to an understanding of how body image ranks right up towards the top with most women and why so many take such good salon care of their hair and nails. It is all part of being part of the high maintenance gender.

Do they do it for men? Or for other women? Both I feel, which is one mistake beginning cross dressers make when entering the world. They dress how they think a man would want to view them, not how the other women do. Leading to an overly sexed image. As we all know, there is a fine line between classy and trashy.

After this morning's meeting, I almost think I can skip one of my rounds of estrogen patches this week!

Speaking of estrogen and HRT, I have a friend who just got permission to start her own (estrodial & spiro) this week! She was so excited :)

You go girl!!!!!

Friday, February 24, 2017

Do I Know You?

This post should have been added to my "Life Turns on a Dime" series, but somehow became lost in the dusty recesses of my mind. It happened  way before I had even considered being transgender and referred to myself as a cross dresser or transvestite.

It goes all the way back to 1972 when I was waiting to be inducted into the Army and I was working at a radio station in the college town of Bowling Green, Ohio. I had just broken up with my finance and headed north from my home for the job and stayed in an apartment with a couple other guys. Just in case I had the chance, I packed my meager supply of women's clothes/makeup and moved along with my other belongings.

My other two roommates were college students so during breaks they went home, leaving the place all to me. Seemingly an empty college town brings out the best and worst of who was left hanging around. For example, I was just wasting time one night walking in the snow when a hippie girl showed up on the gray night. After a brief snowball fight, she treated me to a sexual adventure. After saying goodbye we never saw each other again. I hope it was good for her!

There was also a quiet guy who was sort of a "hanger on" around the apartment. For some reason he stayed behind too during the Christmas break that year.

In the meantime, one weekend I went home for a day or two and by the time I returned, I found out someone had stolen my wig, dress etc under the guise of "straitening" out my room. Not long after that the guy casually mentioned "dressing up" like a woman. I agreed and headed for my "stash" only to find it gone.

I have always wondered what would have happened if I had still had my clothes, wig etc.

Another "what if" lost in time.

A Life in Gender Flux